REVIEWS BY: Count Negroni
POST-HOLIDAY DIET: I’m over it!!!
I thought it appropriate to pause my epicurean presentations after gorging myself from Thanksgiving to New Years. I had hoped to return, many pounds lighter and, therefore, return to the past decadent offerings without guilt. With my usual, misguided optimism, I committed to the same New Year’s resolution that I’ve been consistently breaking for the past twenty years: to drop 20 lbs. by St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t know why I always choose St Patrick’s Day; it’s not exactly a day known for its gastronomic promise. My wife is half Irish; maybe that’s it.
I surveyed the usual suspects and even some new outliers: Weight Watchers (already failed that one), Jenny Craig (she’s still around), the Atkins (isn’t he a guitar player), Nutri-System (sounded promising), the Paleo (don’t ask), the Vegan (ugh), the Dukan (sounds cool), the Low-Fat (no kidding), the Low Carb (please, I’m Italian), the Zone (as in twilight), Noom (no clue what this is: sounds like a misspelt word) and, as a last resort, took a shot at the old Scarsdale diet (remember him; his girlfriend murdered him. Can you blame her. Did you ever check out his menus). So, I ended up trying my own: a hybrid, Count Negroni, amalgam of all of the above. It turned out as effective as all the other ones I’ve tried for the last twenty years. I put on five pounds.
Finally, on Valentine’s day, I officially gave up, devoured a double order of eggs benedict, drank two giant Negronis, and almost single-handedly finished the box of chocolates I bought for my wife. Better luck next year. I'M BAAACK!!
I’ve included my favorite version of the Valentine’s Day staple above. I give it three stars—no clue as to the number of calories. I’ll wait till next year to work on that.
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