REVIEWS BY: Count Negroni
FOOD AND NUTRITION: The Perpetual Dilemma
Before I became Count Negroni, like everyone else, I ate what I liked. But in late adolescence, the warnings began and a gripping narrative regarding our favorite food groups evolved. There were no safe harbors. First it was milk, (my mother’s base line), then it was eggs, (my favorite breakfast food-other than ice cream if I’m being honest); followed by salt (what??), sugar (no cake?), beef (my poor Uncle Frank), cookies (does that include donuts?), peanut butter (my brother is dead), coffee (my mother’s gone), olive oil (all my grandparents gone), alcohol (if that includes Scotch, my entire family) and finally wine (there is no hope-just kill me now). Only veggies and fruit made the cut. But that was short lived because it didn’t include watermelon; jeez I was just getting used to the pits. Veggies were good, but without mozzarella and/or olive oil; even tomatoes which were ok, but not tomato sauce. The remaining safe harbors were grim: Quinoa (yikes!!), kale (oh my god), seaweed (you’re kidding right?), organic everything (does that include hot dogs?), herbal tea (tea bags are out?); can I have a Negroni (once a year at least? I’ll take it). But no, there was no quarter, no compromise. Cooking books were burned at communal gatherings, diet Nazis took over, clocks replaced numbers with calorie counts, gyms proliferated everywhere and ‘fat camps’ evolved in California. It’s become a dire situation for the Epi-curious!!
But wait, Count Negroni is alive and well and offers some repose!! Some hope for us epicureans and gluttonous rebels who remain to fight for the stomach we cherish. Starting in this post and all forthcoming ones, Count Negroni will feature offerings that challenge, I might even say, dare the herd of killjoys (or kill eats or something-or-others) who have taken over our fading kingdom. And the first of these is the beautiful grilled Salmon above (no fat, lots of organic good stuff-heh that’s all I know-give me a break), salad (greens ok? and its light on the olive oil), and a side of Cambozola (slightly out of their menu-but just a small piece for Christs sake). I mean it’s a start. I’ll get better. So, enjoy boys and girls. Include a Negroni and please follow the Count every week as he provides the offerings for us epicureans who are currently under siege and subject to extinction.
My ratings demur the usual stars. Instead of stars, I use Negronis to rate the offerings. Below are my tools of the trade.
The Count’s Rating icons:
